Mending a Twice Broken Heart on International Women’s Day

This is a personal story of how to look forward when dealing with setbacks. Women know how to do it better than anyone, so on International Women’s Day, this one’s for all of you.

Why I’m writing this

I have always been a women’s rights activist and although the past few months have been hard on me, I am more proud than ever to admit it. I also worked for UNESCO in the division for Gender Equality for a year in a half, which was my dream job. At the same time I was there, Irina Bokova, the Director-General of UNESCO was running to be the Secretary General of the UN. She was the first female DG at UNESCO and she was aiming to make history again at the UN. Many talked about how no matter who it would be, the next Secretary General would mostly likely be a woman and I was hearing that from very credible sources. I worked with her team on gender equality initiatives and projects and I was fortunate to travel and promote these initiatives both at headquarters and abroad. Working with such accomplished women gave me new life. For the first time in my life, it seemed like women were making incredible strides all over the world and I was overcome with excitement that I got to be a small part of it.

First Heartbreak

Then, the UN made its decision. While on a volunteer mission in Cambodia in the fall of 2016, I received the unfortunate news. Yes, I was biased and wanted Bokova to win, but when I found out it was another Western European white male, I was heart-broken. I was sad for many reasons, but mostly because apparently, it was a surprisingly quick decision. I had been following the Secretary General election since they opened up their nominations and had never heard of the guy. It made me sad, but I decided to focus my energy back at home in the US at another election going on.

Second Heartbreak

Do I even need to mention November 8th, 2016? Well, I arrived back to the US on election day, with the same enthusiasm I had before, really thinking to myself, not only is a woman going to be the next president but, an incredibly accomplished women at that. I had voted for Hillary via absentee ballot, like always, and was making phone calls and posting whatever I could to encourage others to vote from abroad and the day I got back. Above anything, I just wanted people to vote. Americans really like to criticize politicians and policies, but yet they don’t seem to vote. I have long been an advocate of getting rid of the electoral college, making voting day a national holiday and even introducing proportional representation into congress and when I passed out from jet lag at 8 pm PST, I started to get nervous. The majority of Americans did not vote in the end and despite winning the popular vote, a woman did not become president.

I was sad for many reasons, but mostly because the person who now occupies the Oval Office has less experience than a high schooler forced to take US history and politics to fulfill their course requirements. You might think this is an opinion, but read news on the right and left that expresses otherwise. But, I’m not going to digress and let a man steal the show on International Women’s Day.

On the Mend

So the UN Secretary-General is not a women and and Hillary Clinton is not the President. Yes, this is depressing. Why? Because women seem to always have to go above and beyond just to prove they are as good as their male counterparts when in most instances they are better. This is my opinion based on what I have seen and experienced throughout my life. But the real reason I know why these women are better is because how these women respond to failure. My mother always taught me, “Your strength as a human being is not determined by how you deal with success, but how you deal with failure.” Word, mom.

On a recent visit back to UNESCO, I spoke to my UN colleagues who all were in awe of how Bokova dealt with the loss. She responded by going back to work, right away. She did not complain nor bad mouth anymore else, she took the high road and it showed. Hillary did the same. I will say it loud and I will say it proud, Hillary Clinton is my goddamn hero! Not because she is incredibly accomplished, not because she has more experience than their male counterparts, but because every time someone tries to knock her down, she gets right back up and she goes back to work. Those are the people I admire and want to work with. Yes, Hillary! Yes, Bokova! And yes to the people from all walks of life who fail, get trashed and respond by getting back up and going back to work on the things that really matter. This one is for all of you!

A Gentle Reminder: Females are Strong as Hell!

Gloria Steinem said, “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.” On March 8th, let us restate our commitment to intersectional gender equality.

Feminism is an acknowledgment that women are humans and all humans deserve equal rights. Gender discrimination penalizes societies. The continued violence, injustice, and stereotypes suffered by women and those identifying as females in their personal and professional lives hurt society as a whole. Advancing women’s rights is also good for business too if you needed that reminder.

Promoting women’s empowerment is a matter of principle and common sense; everyone has a stake in promoting gender equality: in agriculture and in governments, in company boardrooms and on the streets of our cities. Rural women are directly responsible for half the world’s food production. It is primarily women who gather and manage natural resources, yet 90% of rapes happen when women are out collecting firewood and resources for their families, particularly in refugee camps and conflict zones. Two-thirds of the world’s illiterate adults are women and are not able to exercise their legal rights, even if they exist.

Unfortunately, in 2017, there is still not a single country in the world that can claim to have gender equality. It is a sad fact, but it does not have to be a continued reality.

Source: World Economic Forum

Women must continue to exercise their freedoms and make their own choices, control their own bodies and their own lives, and take part in decision-making that set the course of society, the same way that men do. Everywhere, women and men are determined to change and denounce discrimination and support gender equality, and we must be bold and continue to support them. We are stronger if we come together for this cause, so let’s not focus on the small differences that divide us, because there are far more things that unite us. We can play a part in ridding the media and the collective imagination of prejudice by highlighting women as leaders, scientists, artists and politicians that are moving humanity forward. In this day in age, it might seem simple to criticize, trash and denounce each other, but when everyone else goes low, we must take the high road.

So, on International Women’s Day, I wrote this to acknowledge my twice broken heart while still making the commitment to moving forward and get back to work. In the name of gender equality, I hope that others who feel the same way as I do, know that I am here to support all of you. I will all my privileges and metaphorically soap boxes to do so because we are all in this together. All of us owe it to the new generations and to the global community at large that the challenges that are still ahead might seem huge, but they are not out of our reach.